


My Soulmate

by misswinchesteworld



Series: My Soulmate [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Implied Castiel/Reader, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive, Romantic Soulmates, Series, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-30
Updated: 2015-10-17
Packaged: 2018-04-18 04:47:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4692596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misswinchesteworld/pseuds/misswinchesteworld
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader hasen't found her soulmate yet. Things change when she meets Sam and Dean's friend and angel Castiel. But what happens when you found your soulmate, but you're not their soulmate?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hello angel!

Do you remember that pitch black darkness that creeps around you when you turn off the light at night? The darkness that scares children and makes them believe that there’s a monster in your closet?

This was your reality, your everyday ever since you were born.

In this world, soulmates were the only thing people lived for. If you found your soulmate, you were complete, your life was worth something. If you didn’t… not so much. Many people were fortunate enough to meet one, but on the other side many people weren’t.

You were one of those people. And you were pretty sure that you’ll end up as one of those ‘losers’ or what lucky people liked to call them ‘lost souls’, they weren’t really lost, but no one cared about it. One of those who weren’t lucky enough to actually find the other half.

You wouldn’t really care if you were at least lucky enough to see in black and white. But in contrast to both of your brothers and your mother, you were blind, just like your dad. Maybe that is why you loved him so much.

He understood you and everything you had to go though. He went thought the same thing and since your mom died, he was your rock to lean on and a life leader. At least until he died trying to catch your mother’s killer.

Your brothers, Sam and Dean, saw in black and white as kids. Later, Sam found Jess, his soulmate, but she was killed in a fire. Dean, on the other side, was like you. He never found his soulmate and neither did he care.

Neither of the brothers knew that, but you were blaming yourself for what happened to Jess. You panicked when John didn’t call you and you were the one who convinced Dean and Sam to help you find him.

Needless to say that you felt really bad when you went to college and he didn’t because of you.

College was fun, but terrifying at first. This was the first time that you were actually alone, states away from people you knew. Being blind just made everything worse. You were like a scared mouse when you came there. Being bullied in since middle school because you were blind convinced you that the same will happen in college, that people are just mean to others.

Surprisingly, you quickly found a group of friends and no one made fun of you. Professors offered special hours for people like you, but never in 5 years you attended it. It’s not like you actually needed it. Studying never caused you any big problems.

And people you met there were amazing and smart. They inspired you and helped you become a better person. They helped you realize that you’re worth just as anyone else, not less.

And so you spent years away from your brothers, doing what Sam should. They called you every night and talked to you, cheering you up if you had a bad day. They tried really hard to give you what dad used to, but no matter how hard they tried, neither of them was John.

After finishing college, which was more luck than sense if you were honest, you moved in the Bunker with them.

You still missed all the hunts and couldn’t really help with the research, but at least you had a job now and you were actually able to help.

“Y/N, honey, can you come into the library for a minute?” Dean called loudly.

“I’m blind, Dean, not deaf.” you called back, carefully making your way to the library.

You heard Dean smirk at your answer just when you entered the library. Sam helped you find a seat even though you told him that you don’t need his help. You knew that he doesn’t understand what it means to be blind, but even though you couldn’t help but raise your voice.

“Are you on your period or what?” Sam tried to lighten up the mood, cheer you up.

“Say that again and you’ll bleed for a week like I do every month.” you snapped back, crossing arms over your chest.

Both brothers sighed. If you fell into a bad mood, there wasn’t a living, breathing creature that could make you laugh. Stubborn as you were, you could just ignore them for a week for no reason. Dean saw your mother in you and he often told you that you’re just like she was.

“Okay, so what’s up?” you asked, looking at where you guessed that the brothers will be.

“We told you about Cas, right?” Dean started calmly.

“Your boyfriend? Yeah, just about a billion times, why?” you asked, furrowing your eyebrows.

You couldn’t see the annoyance on Dean’s face and how Sam tried to stiff his laugh, not really successfully if you were honest.

“Yes that Cas.” Sam answered, still holding back the laugh.

“He’ll come here next week. He’s got nowhere to stay, so Sam and I told him that he can stay here. I hope that’s okay with you?” Dean was still careful, the last thing he wanted was you teasing him and Castiel.

“Awww Deano is moving in with his bae.” you laughed and nodded a second later. “I’m fine with it.”

You heard a sigh of relief from both brothers, which made you smile. You were hard on them sometimes and sometimes you were just annoying. But you loved them more than anything.

“Okay, he’ll get a room next to yours. But don’t worry at all, he’s quiet.”

“So you’re telling me that you’re the only one that can make him scream?” You teased again and you could only imagine the expression on Dean’s face.

“Shut up, ” he mumbled angrily.

“Is what you said to Cas when Sam was in the room.”

“Ewww, Y/N!” Sam groaned. “I won’t be able to sleep now.”

You laughed and shook your head lightly.

You’ve heard about Castiel, the angel of the lord, for a million times. He saved your brothers and he helped them fix mistakes. Also, he was the one who made all angels fall and the one who fixed it. From what you heard, he was a special guy.

Dean was usually the one who talked about him a lot. You teased Dean about it, but really you knew that Castiel is Dean’s only friend next to Sam and you.

While you were in college it made you happy that they had an angel by their side. You felt calmer, knowing that there’s an angel watching over them and making sure that in the end they’ll be alright.

Suddenly you heard the familiar sound of wings in the room.

“Gabe!” You exclaimed, and a smile grew bigger on your face.

“There’s my favourite human! And her brothers.”

Gabriel walked to you and pulled you into a tight hug. You hugged him back even tighter.

“I missed you.” you mumbled against his chest and you felt him smile against your hair.

“Missed you too, kiddo!”

Gabriel and you met while you were at college. Sam and Dean decided to pay you a visit and he appeared next to you. After that he visited you at least once a week, taking you out for an ice cream or coffee. He was your best friend despite the fact that your brothers didn’t really like him.

“You had to come again?” Dean groaned in annoyance.

“Your sister don’t seem to mind, Winchester.” Gabriel winked at him, before turning back to you. “I’m sorry, Sweetheart, but I just popped in to bring you chocolate. I’m really busy in the next few weeks. But I’m sure that Cassie will keep you entertained when he comes.”

“Okay.” you mumbled. “Thanks, Gabe.”

You felt him nod before he pushed your favourite chocolate in your hand, kissed your cheek and disappeared again.

Okay, maybe there was someone who could make you happy if you were down.

“Isn’t he the best?” you squealed and blushed lightly after Gabriel was gone.

“I don’t like him.” Dean said angrily. “I bet you’ll like Cas way more.”

You overheard Dean’s sassy comment, he never liked when Gabriel visited you. Sam on the other side pretended that he didn’t care, but he was even more annoyed than Dean sometimes.

“Sam I’m sorry I yelled at you.” you apologised when Sam came to wish you goodnight.

“What do you want?” Sam asked in a teasing tone.

“Why would you…? Okay, can you tell me a story how you and Jess met? And I’m seriously sorry. I was being a dick.”

Sam shook his head and laughed.

“You’ve heard this story a billion times, Y/N. But okay, just because you are my favourite sister.”

You moved, letting Sam sit next to you. You loved this story and Sam really knew how to tell it.

“It was March, one of those really rainy days, I woke up with a strange feeling in my stomach, like something big is about to happen. I was late for one of my classes and I couldn’t find my umbrella, so I was running through whole campus, hoping that I won’t end up soaked wet. It was freezing outside and I just wanted to be inside soon…”

5.3.2002

Sam was running through campus, probably the only one without an umbrella. He tried to avoid people, but even though he bumped into one every now and then.

It was freezing and for a moment he thought that he should return back to his apartment. But quickly this thought was replaced by his father’s words. He shook his head, forgetting about the earlier thought.

He needed to finish this, to prove to John and Dean that he can live a normal life.

A second after he thought of his father, he felt his body bumping into something and the next second he was on the floor.

“Shit.” he mumbled to himself right before he saw a blond girl, also on the floor.

“I’m so sorry, I wasn’t watching.” he apologised and realized that she was also blind. “I’m really sorry.” he apologised again.

A girl was beautiful and suddenly he felt a need to be with her. He wanted to be next to her and protect her from anything evil. He felt like he should be the one to make her happy and safe.

“It’s okay. This happens. Are you late?” she asked with a voice Sam would never get bored of.

“Yeah…” he chuckled. “Here, let me help you.”

Girl extended her hand towards Sam…

“And when our hands touched I started seeing colours. They just started popping. I should be amazed by that, but seeing the expression on her face… That’s when I fell in love. I wish I could see her again…”

You smiled to yourself. They were a perfect match and if you could wish for one thing, you’d wish for her to come back. Sam needed her and you knew that even after all this years he still missed her everyday.

“You will.” you promised. “In heaven.”

Next week went by quickly.

In the morning, boys drove you to your job and picked you up at 5. It was the last week of your work as well and you knew that you’re going to miss it. It kept you busy for 8 hours a day and just thinking about what you’ll do with the extra 8 hours of your day made you feel stressed.

On the other side you were kind of happy that you’ll have more time to spend with your brothers and your soon-to-be roommate Castiel.

You were excited to meet this weird angel and there was a feeling, deep inside you, that he’ll play an important role in your life. But being silly as you usually were that was probably just because you were excited about a new roommate.

Sam and Dean talked about him a lot. They were even more excited about this than you were. It practically meant that they had an angel help right next to them all the time and that would probably make things much easier.

“Y/N!” Dean called loudly. “Cas came, we’re in the library.”

You smiled to yourself and slowly walked there to meet Castiel.

“Y/N…” you heard deep, husky voice on your left. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

You turned to where you expected Castiel to be and smiled.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Castiel!”

You extended your arm to shake his hand. Castiel slid his hand in yours, smiling politely and shaking it lightly. It was obvious that he wasn’t used to meeting new people.

But when your fingers touched, when his hand gently slid into yours, something you never thought would happen, happened.

Figures started forming in front of you, at first just shadows, but quickly your eyes started forming figures and after a few seconds you saw everything clearly.

You stared at a man in front of you, not quite aware of what’s happening. You felt like your brains are shutting down and you were pretty sure that you’re about to throw your breakfast out. At the same time there was kind of happy feeling in your stomach.

“Y/N!” you heard Dean’s and Sam’s voices in the background.

For a second you turned to your brothers, immediately recognizing who is who but after a quick glance you turned back to Castiel, your soulmate.

He was still smiling, but not in a ‘I can see colours’ way. His smile seemed polite and you sensed worry in his eyes.

“Do you…” your voice quickly faded away.

“Do I what?” he asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

Suddenly that small feeling of happiness was gone. You felt like puking and your vision got blurry for a second.

How can he not know what you’re talking about? He’s your soulmate. You have to be his, he has to see colours. It’s the law of nature. You two are meant to be together. Every book, movie, every living creature is talking about this. It can’t be wrong. God doesn’t make mistakes, does he?

“Y/N? Are you okay?” Dean asked again. He was worried and Sam was too.

“Hm? Yeah, I just need some air.” With those words you walked out, tears forming in your eyes.

You needed to get away from here.

Is it possible that God made mistake? That you, of all people, are nobody’s soulmate?


	2. World In Colours

Ever since you were a child, you’ve heard stories about people finding their soulmate and falling in love. Happy endings were all people talked about and until your mother died, you never heard a story when one soulmate lost the other one.

But never in your life, you heard about a person that wasn’t their soulmate’s soulmate. Never until this happened to you.

Knowing that Castel is your soulmate and you aren’t his made you feel like a freak. How could this happen and what in the world did this actually mean?

You heard the boys call after you, but you didn’t stop. You went outside and for the first time ever you saw things Sam and Dean used to describe. You saw the trees around you and green leaves on their branches. You saw grey pavement and blue sky.

Even though it probably should, nothing woke you up from your trance. You didn’t admire the view you’ve been wondering about for your whole life. You were locked in your thoughts and didn’t even pay attention

“Did I do something wrong?” Castiel asked worriedly.

Sam and Dean glanced at each other, still shocked from what happened.

“N- no Cas, you didn’t do anything wrong.” Sam assured him. 

“Can you just call Gabriel so he can find her?” Dean asked, scratching the back of his neck and pinching his nose right after that 

Sam gave him questionable look and Castiel tilted his head.

“What?” Dean rolled his eyes. “It’s not my fault that he’s the only one that can calm her down. Just… do it, please?”

Castiel nodded and sent a silent prayer to his brother. Within 5 seconds, Gabriel appeared.

“What happened? Is Y/N okay?” Gabriel’s eyes scanned the room, doing everything to find you.

Dean was the one to explain him what happened, but before he could even finish Gabriel was gone.

Meanwhile, you found an empty bench away from everything. You didn’t know where you are and you were just as lost as your thoughts.

“Y/N what happened?” a worried voice made you jump and your eyes widened when you looked at Gabriel who appeared next to you.

“It’s nothing Gabe, I’m fine.” You faked a smile and shrugged “I started to feel sick and I needed some fresh air. That’s all." 

"I know you, Y/N, now stop lying to me and tell me what really happened.”

He looked you in the eyes and when you saw a worry written all over his face. All the tears you’ve been holding back ever since you left the Bunker, all anger, sadness and fear came out.

It started with a gentle sob that escaped, unintentionally. A tear followed and soon you were crying your best friend’s arms.

He gently rubbed your back, letting you cry in his shirt that was soon soaked wet. He didn’t ask for answers, he didn’t even talk. All he had to do was be there next to you and he knew that this is what you need right now.

“Cas and I…” you sobbed, unable to form a whole sentence without sobbing.

“He’s my soulmate, Gabe.”

Gabriel grabbed you by your shoulders and gently pushed you back.

“What? Y/N that’s nonsense. He can’t be.”

Once again a waterfall of tears made its way down your cheeks and you shook your head violently.

“When he touched me… I-I can see now, Gabe.”

Gabriel’s eyes widened and now he was the one shaking his head. "That’s impossible. Angels don’t have soulmates. Y/N are you sure?“ His voice was gentle and his eyes were firmly set on you.

You nodded and then shook your head. “I don’t know. All I know is that I can see now and that it started after he touched my hand.”

Gabriel nodded and brought you close once again. “Just calm down, cupcake. We’ll make this work, I promise, you just have to calm down.” he whispered, rocking you back and forth.

He whispered things you loved in your ear, doing everything he could to calm you down. It wasn’t a secret that Gabriel hated to see you like this. Once he almost beat some poor guy because he bumped into you.

After you calmed down and actually started to think straight, Gabriel started asking questions.

“Do Sam and Dean know about this?” he asked when you backed away so he could look you in the eyes.

You shook your head, taking a deep breath. “No. And I don’t know if I should tell them.”

“You should, I mean they’re your brothers. You can’t just keep away the fact that you can see, Y/N.”

You sighed and buried your face in your hands. “And what am I supposed to say, Gabe? Hey, I can see now because your best friend is my soulmate. Oh, and I’m not his soulmate, nothing weird, right?”

Gabriel let out a chuckle, which made you smile as well.

“Something like that, yeah. Just another ordinary day in Winchester’s family.”

“Can you take me back to the Bunker, please? Sam, Dean and I have a lot to talk about.” you asked nicely, after a good laugh you two had.

You loved being with Gabriel and actually being able to see him laugh when you said something stupid and to see the way he looked at you made you insanely happy.

“Anything for you, cupcake!” he assured you and took your hand in his.

In a second you were standing in Bunker’s library, feeling a little dizzy. Gabriel didn’t let your hand go until you heard Dean’s voice behind you.

“You brought her back, thank you.” he said, smiling.

You turned around to face him and that was the first time you actually saw Dean’s face without panicking. He had a strong jaw line, you knew that before, but never actually saw it. His eyes were in amazing green colour and his smile felt warm and familiar.

“You’re welcome, Deano. Just take care of her now.” With that Gabriel disappeared, leaving you alone with your brother.

“What was that before?” Dean asked and you sensed worry in his voice. He stepped closer to you and grabbed your hand, so he could lead you to a chair.

“Do you know where Sam is? We need to talk.”

Right when you said it, Castiel entered the library. He seemed relieved when he saw you and a small polite smile appeared on his face.

“He’s in his room.” he informed you and Dean. “I’m really glad that Gabriel found you.”

“Well, someone had to, right?” You replied in a harsh voice, sounding rude, even though you didn’t really mean it.

Castiel and Dean looked at each other, shock written all over their faces. Castiel was the first one to snap to the real world again and he cleared his throat.

“I’ll go call Sam and leave you to talk.” As quick as he could, he disappeared out of the library and almost in the same second Dean turned to you.

“What the hell was that?” he snapped, shaking his head in disapproval.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” you mumbled, suddenly feeling ashamed an insecure.

This wasn’t Castiel’s fault and you shouldn’t be mean to him. But for some reason it made you angry when you saw him. Angry and really, really sad. I mean, how could he be your soulmate when you aren’t his?  
“Tell him that.”

Sam came to the room quickly, happy to see that you’re okay. Well, as okay as you could be. You sat them both down and before they could start asking questions, you began with your story.

They listened to it quietly with wide eyes and mouth hanging open.

“That… that’s not possible. It can’t be.” Sam mumbled more to himself that to you and Dean. “Not possible.”

“Did you ask Cas about this?” Dean was the first one of them to actually ask something that made sense. “Maybe that son of a bitch is your soulmate as well, maybe he’d just hiding it.”

Before you could speak, Sam shook his head in disapproval. “You can’t hide this, Dean. No one can.”

Dean ran a hand down his face and pinched a bridge of his nose in frustration. This couldn’t be happening to his little sister, the only person Winchesters managed to protect from evil and Supernatural.

“Are you at least planning on telling him? You can’t keep that from him, Y/N.”

“No. He’s not going to find out from me and you two will keep your mouth shut.”

Both Sam and Dean argued you on this one. They told you that Castiel deserves to know, that he might be able to help. Sam begged you to tell him and Dean backed him up, but no matter how hard they tried, you pushed them away with an excuse.

What they didn’t know was that you’re ashamed. Your whole life you were a freak. A blind, awkward girl who had no idea how to live her life or how to make friends. But like everything else in your life, even that could get worse.

Now you were a freak who’s not their soulmate’s soulmate. You were something the world has never seen. And your soulmate was an angel. A creature. Creatures didn’t have soulmates. As far as you knew they didn’t even have souls.

“So we’re just supposed to keep the fact that you can see now away from him? Are you sure, Y/N? You can’t just decide one day and be like ‘Hey, Cas, you’re my soulmate. Want some pie’”

You nodded at Sam’s question, more sure about this decision that you have ever been about anything. There was no point in letting him know anyways. It’s not like you’re gonna fall for him, right? It would probably be a lot more trouble if he knew about this than now when he doesn’t.  
“Okay.” both brothers mumbled, clearly not happy with your decision. But it was what you wanted and they had to accept this.

“It’s good that you don’t have a job anymore.” Dean smiled widely. “You have so many movies to catch up with. And we need to show you family albums.”

Your smile grew bigger when you heard him make plans.

“And we’re taking you to the seaside and the Grand Canyon and you’re going on a run with me.” Sam continued with making plans with a huge grin.

“And we can watch Cas try water from the sea.” Dean laughed at the thought, but realized the second later that he brought up Castiel again.

The room went quiet and there was tension and awkwardness between the three of you.

“You know what? I’ll go get family albums and you, Dean, go get pie and popcorn or whatever and we can watch them.” Sam broke the silence.

For a few moments brothers disappeared, leaving you alone with your thoughts. It was nice to connect with them like that and you saw how happy they were for you.

“Okay, these are all albums we’ve got.” Sam told you, passing two huge albums to you.

Not even a minute later Dean appeared in the room with a huge bowl of popcorn in one and pie in other hand.

You loved pie ever since you were a child and this one looked almost as good as it looked.

You ended up between both of your brothers, one of the albums resting in your lap. Dean was holding his beloved pie and Sam had a bowl of popcorn in his lap.

You were more than excited to open this album to see a face of your parents for the first time. You were excited to see how you looked as a child and how Sam and Dean looked when you were younger. But right before you opened the album, holding in your breath, you realised something.

“Can I get a mirror? I’ve never seen how I look like.” you asked, blushing lightly and suddenly feeling insecure.

How did your hair look like? What colour are your eyes? Are your ears big, pointy or small? Are your lips more like Dean’s or Sam’s? Did you look more like your mother or your father?

A million questions flew through your head while you waited for Sam to bring a mirror. You were excited and mostly thankful that you can see.

Sam returned with a mirror and a smile on his face.

“Y/N I represent you, you!” he exclaimed and turned around the mirror.

Breath caught in the back of your throat when you saw a reflection of yourself. Green eyes, similar to Dean’s, stared back at you, wide in surprise. You had hair like Sam and eyebrows that didn’t belong to any of them. Your full lips were coloured in light pink.

When you smiled at the mirror, you noticed that you have a beautiful smile. Your face was shining between your two brothers who were also smiling.

“You’re beautiful, you know?” Dean asked you proudly and Sam nodded in agreement.

“Well, I’ve got you two as brothers. There’s no way I could be ugly.”

Sam let out a laugh and Dean joined him.

“Are we going to look through this album or what?”

“Let’s go. I’m so glad you can see now, Y/N.” Dean told you, opening the album in your lap.

“She found her soulmate?” a deep, rough voice asked from behind you. “Y/N, you can see now?”


	3. In His Arms

“She found her soulmate?” a deep, rough voice asked from behind you. “She can see now?”  
All three of you turned around to face Castiel. Your eyes widened and you felt the heat rise up your cheeks when his blue eyes met yours.  
“Yes.” Dean replied with a grin.   
A smile sneaked up Castiel’s lips as he stepped closes. “That’s wonderful news.”  
Once again, you felt a wall between you and Cas. A wall that you created to protect yourself. Honestly, you didn’t mean to do it. Sure, you were hurt by the fact that you’re not his soulmate, but that didn’t mean that you can’t be nice to him. At first.  
“May I ask who is your soulmate?” he asked, grinning at you. He seemed really happy for you.  
“None of your business.” you muttered angrily, turning back to the family album.  
“Someone bumped into her while she was outside, knocked her unconscious. Gabe woke her up and she can see from then on.” Sam explained, throwing an apologetic look to Cas. He could understand your attitude, but he still felt bad for Cas.  
“Is it possible that Gabriel is your soulmate, Y/N?” Castiel asked again, standing right behind you.   
“No.” you snapped. “Angels can’t have soulmates. You should have known that!” You threw a family album in Sam’s lap and practically ran out of the room.  
Castiel furrowed his eyebrows and you could feel his eyes on you as you left.  
"Should I talk to her?" He looked at your brothers, feeling slightly hurt by your actions.  
He had no idea why you acted like this and it confused him. You seemed like a nice person and from what Sam and Dean had told him you were. He wanted to be your friend, but seeing how you push him away confused him a lot.  
“Yeah, Cas. Maybe you should, she’s been acting weird for a week.” Sam lied.   
He promised you that he won’t tell Castiel about the whole soulmate situation, but he never promised that he won’t get involved in matching you two together. He knew that something was wrong in this. He has read so many books in his life, heard lots of stories. But not even once, not even in tales, he’s heard of anything like this.  
It was the rule. You were soulmate to your soulmate. Supernatural creatures didn’t have soulmates, not even the angels. Well, as far as he knew about it.  
Castiel nodded at Sam’s suggestion and snapped himself in front of your room. He heard crying from the inside. It was quiet, a normal human couldn’t hear it. But Cas wasn’t human and it broke his heart to hear you cry.  
He never knew how it feels to find your soulmate and he never will. He heard about angels having soulmate. He has heard stories like this many times as a toddler. But they weren’t real. He was sure of it. Never in his long life he has met an angel with a soulmate and sure as heaven, he won’t believe those stories until he meets one.  
He knocked on the door lightly, hoping that you won’t yell at him.  
You waited for a few seconds to calm yourself down. You didn’t want Sam or Dean to see you like this. You were weak your whole life. But this chapter ended the second you were able to see again.  
“Go away, Dean!” you shouted when a person in front of your door knocked again. Dean was the only one who was so impatient to knock twice so fact. “I’m sorry, okay. I didn’t mean to be rude to Cas, but it’s just…” you took a break, to calm yourself down once again. “It’s hard, okay? And I need to think this through.”  
“It’s not Dean.” deep voice answered and your eyes widened at realisation that it was Castiel who heard everything. Not Dean.  
“Shit.” you mumbled under your breath.  
“I heard that.” Castiel tried to make you laugh. It was a miracle, but you did, in fact, laugh.  
“Sorry Cas. I don’t know what’s up with me.” you admitted, lying just a bit.  
Castiel relaxed a bit when he heard that he’s not the reason for this. “Is it about your soulmate, Y/N?” he asked, keeping his voice as gentle as he could.   
He was leaning against your door and little did he know that you were on the floor, your back to the doors as well. You were hugging your knees and tried to keep yourself from breaking down right in front of him.  
“Maybe.” You mumbled, wiping a tear that escaped away. “Can I ask you something?”  
Castiel nodded, but then realised that you can’t see him.   
“Yes.”  
“Let’s say that person A is a soulmate for person B. Is it possible that person B isn’t soulmate for person A?”  
At the moment it seemed like the smartest thing to do. He was an angel, he should know this.   
Castiel thought for a moment, but he hasn’t heard of it, not even once in his lifetime. It was a weird question, but he tried to find a positive answer.  
“I’m sorry, but I don’t think so. Every person is paired with their soulmate way before they are born. There’s no way that this could be possible. Is that about your soulmate just leaving you? Because, Y/N….”  
“No, it isn’t.” You cut him off, again being rude to him. “Thank you for answer.”  
You opened the door of your room, bumping into Castiel, who was standing in front of this door. Once again, you yelled at him, throwing a bunch of curses at him.  
You stormed off after that, leaving all three boys speechless once again.  
A fortnight passed by quickly.   
You spent most of the time with Sam and Dean, avoiding Castiel as much as you could. And if you did bump into him, you either ignored him or you were really rude to him. It’s not that you wanted to be. Castiel seemed like a great guy and he was always nice to you. But when it came to talking to him, you just couldn’t hold yourself back.  
Dean and Sam tried to talk to you about this, but you pushed it away. So they just focused on showing you great things.  
Every morning Sam dragged you out of bed so you could go on a run with him. He was also teaching you how to read and write. Meanwhile, Dean focused on lazier but more fun things. He showed you his favourite movies and you two also started watching Game of Thrones.   
Soon, eating pie and watching Game of Thrones became your favourite thing to do. You relaxed and forgot about the soulmate thing. This was on your mind most of the time and you were so thankful when Game of Thrones took that off your shoulders.  
You just wished that it could help you now. You were curled into a ball, trying hard not to cry. Cramps seemed to be really bad now and the fact that Gabriel didn’t have time to be with you made everything even worse.  
Usually he would curl up next to you and make everything just a bit better. He brought all your favourite food and told you stories about other angels.  
But now he was busy in heaven and even a huge pile of fatty food on the desk couldn’t make everything better.  
“Y/N? Are you okay?” Castiel asked when he walked past your room.  
Sam and Dean went on a small case, so he was the only one in the Bunker.  
“Do I look okay?” you snapped, rolling your eyes at him.  
“Not really.” he said quietly and you let out a small chuckle. “Is there any way I can help you? You look like you’re in bad pain.”  
“Yeah, you can call Gabriel so he can cuddle with me. Oh, no, you can’t. He’s busy with the damn heaven and I have no one to cuddle with. I mean I understand that he has to work, I really do. But my damn uterus just won’t stop hurting like hell.”  
Before you knew it, tears were streaming down your face and you were crying in front of Castiel. For a second he furrowed his eyebrows, but then stepped into your room.  
“I know that you don’t like me very much, Y/N. But maybe I could help you now that Gabriel can’t?”  
He knew that it was a risky move. This could either make everything between you two better or way worse. He could screw this up or make everything better. And Castiel was pretty sure that it will be way worse, but he couldn’t stop himself.  
“Would you?” you sobbed, looking at him. “Even though I’m really mean to you?”  
Castiel nodded with a small smile of hope.  
“And would you watch Game of Thrones with me and eat all this fatty food?” you asked again, looking at him in disbelief?”  
“If you want so, then yes.” he confirmed.  
You smiled at him and moved to make space for him as well. Castiel took off his boots and joined you on your bed, while you turned on the TV that Sam bought for you.   
Both of you relaxed a bit, but he was just lying still, next to you. He didn’t cuddle you like Gabriel did and he didn’t put his hand on your stomach to help with the pain.  
“Umm...” you shifted uncomfortably, looking at him. “Gabriel usually cuddles me and… he puts his hand on my stomach so the cramps aren’t that bad?”  
You felt yourself blushing and suddenly you hated yourself for saying this. But Castiel just smiled and opened his arms, so you could snuggle closer to him.  
He smelled like lavender and you felt yourself relaxing a bit in his arms. Well, maybe a little more than just a bit.   
But nothing compared to the moment when he gently placed a hand on your belly. All the pain was instantly washed off and you were surprised that he used his grace to do this.  
“You don’t have to use your grace, you know?” you told him only to see that he furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head.  
“I’m not.” he told you.  
“O-Okay.”  
Your heartbeat slowed down in his arms and you found yourself happier and more relaxed than ever. You knew that this isn’t good, that you’ll end up hurt once again.  
But his smell, his breathing calmed you down. And the way he said your name to ask you something made you smile like a fool. With his arms wrapped around you it felt like nothing in this world can hurt you.  
“I have another question, Y/N…” Castiel spoke, but your lips remained closed. “Y/N?” he asked again, this time quieter.  
When he looked down on you he found you sleeping peacefully. For the first time in days you were actually sleeping and you looked so calm.  
Castiel couldn’t take his eyes of your sleeping face. He tried to look away, but every time he found himself looking at you. You looked so peaceful, slowly breathing, with your mouth just slightly open.  
“Hey, Y/N…. What the hell?” Dean tried not to scream when he found you snuggled up to Castiel.  
“What the hell, man?” he asked again, right before Castiel used his power to shut Dean’s and Sam’s mouth.  
“She’s having cramps and Gabriel couldn’t come, so she asked me if I could help.” he explained. “Now please keep your mouth shut, because she’s sleeping and I don’t want you two morons to wake her up.”  
Castiel’s protectiveness surprised Sam and Dean and even Castiel himself. He didn’t know what got into him, but he knew that no matter what he has to protect you. He felt like he was created to protect you.  
He waited until Sam and Dean calmed down and let them talk again.  
“What the hell?” Dean repeated once again, not believing his own eyes.   
On the other side, Sam couldn’t be happier. His constant comments about how nice Cas is, just to bring you closer to him, seemed to work.  
You started moving in Castiel’s arms, ready to wake up, but Castiel used his grace to lull you back to your much-needed sleep.  
“J-just one thing, Cas.” Sam whispered. “Maybe it’ll be the best if you disappear from here right before she wakes up. You never know if she’ll be in a good or bad mood and this is huge progress between you two.”  
Castiel nodded, knowing that Sam is right. He wouldn’t want to push you away once again. Not after this.  
“And after she wakes up I need to tell both of you something important.”


	4. Overprotective Angel

Waking up without Cas by your side was, to say the least, a disappointment. You knew that you shouldn’t expect him next to you, especially after all the things you said to him in last two weeks, but even though you felt yourself feeling sad when he wasn’t there.  
You tried to snuggle closer to the object that was there right before you fall asleep just to found an empty space next to you.  
Little did you know that Castiel was there just a second before you woke up. Little did you know that he stayed with you for almost 14 hours while you were asleep. And little did you know that he fought with Sam and Dean when they told him to leave you alone.  
If you knew that, maybe you wouldn’t feel so heartbroken when you woke up. Maybe you wouldn’t swallow back tears and maybe, just maybe you wouldn’t hate yourself for thinking that last night might change things between you and Angel.  
You walked into the kitchen, rubbing your eyes to get sleep out of them. You needed shower, but even before that you needed strong coffee to wake you up.  
Bunker seemed empty even though Sam and Dean should be back right now.   
You sat in the kitchen, holding a mug of coffee with your name on it.  
“Did you sleep well?” rough voice appeared behind you, making you jump slightly.  
“Cas! You scared me!” You turned around only to find out that Castiel was right behind you, his chest almost leaning on your back.  
“My apologies.” you tilted his head, waiting for you to scream or yell at him, but on his surprise you only smiled.  
“It’s okay.” you assured him, taking another sip out of your mug.  
“Gabriel stopped by and he left this for you.”   
He placed a huge Toblerone chocolate on table next to you. You smiled at it and quietly thanked Cas, before you sent a prayer to Gabriel.  
“Are Sam and Dean back?”  
Castel nodded. “They came back last night and now they’re at the store.”  
“Was I asleep for 12 hours or what?” you joked, but it seemed like Castiel didn’t get it.  
“14 actually.”  
Your eyes widened and you looked at the clock on the wall. 11:34 pm. No wonder that he didn't stay with you all the time.  
“Oh… and Cas, umm… thank you for… you know. Cuddling and helping me.” You felt yourself blushing like a teenage girl, your face probably turning into tomato red.  
Cas blushed as well, but you didn’t see it while looking down, trying to hide your blush.  
“It’s okay. You don’t need to thank me, I’m glad could help.”  
You have him a shy smile, before setting your eyes at the coffee mug. Both of your remained quiet for a while and on your surprise it wasn’t awkward at all. It felt nice and every now and then you glanced at him.  
Sometimes he was looking at you which made you smile like an idiot and blush.  
“Where’s my favourite girl!” you heard Gabriel behind you.  
“Gabe!” you exclaimed running to him and jumping in his lap. You hugged him tightly and he placed a kiss on your forehead, holding you close to him.  
“Well, I missed you too! But I saw that you found another angel to cuddle with, huh?” he chuckled and you placed a kiss on his cheek.  
“Don’t be jealous, you know you’re my favourite!”  
You could have sworn that you saw him blush, but he pulled you into another hug and you forgot about it, feeling safe in his arms.  
Castiel was, on the other side, forgotten. He quietly watched your hugs with Gabriel and suddenly he felt angry. He felt something that he’s never felt before. Something that shouldn’t be there. Angels didn’t feel this. It was wrong, Cas knew it. But a voice deep inside him, told him that it wasn’t wrong, in fact, it felt really right.  
“Thanks for taking care of her Cassie. Lately I’ve been a horrible b- friend. Horrible friend, right Y/N?”  
You shook your head, turning to Castiel while Gabriel still had his hands around your torso. And suddenly you felt something that you never thought you would. You wanted Castiel to be where Gabriel is. You wanted to kiss his cheek and you wanted him to wrap hands around your waist, to hold you close to him.  
But it was stupid. Angel would never fall for you. Especially not him and not after how you treated him even though he didn’t do anything wrong.  
“It’s nothing. I’m glad I could help.” Castiel smiled at you and you returned the smile.  
“Okay, cupcake, I have to go now, but I’ll visit as soon as I can.” Gabriel placed another kiss on the top of your head and disappeared.  
“Sam and Dean need to talk to us when they come back.” Cas informed you before he disappeared as well.  
You went to your room, starting another marathon of Game of Thrones. You only wished that Castiel would be next to you once again, cuddling with you.  
It wasn’t possible, but you wanted it to happen more than anything  
“Sam! Dean!” You ran to hug your brothers right when they entered the Bunker.  
“Look, Sam, Sleeping Beauty is awake!” Dean chuckled as he pulled you into a tight hug. “We missed you so much, kiddo!” he told you.  
In last 2 weeks you grew so close to your brothers. You went from being just sibling to being really good best friends. You could trust them everything and you could tell them everything. They were always there for you, no matter what.  
You hugged Sam as well, standing on your fingertips so he didn’t have to lean down so much. He was way taller than you and honestly, you probably were the smallest person in your family. Not that you minded. It was fun when boys joked with you about your height.  
“Y/N, we need to talk.” Sam told you while you were eating the burger they brought.  
“I’ll be in the library in 2 minutes.” you mumbled, unable to say no to this burger. It was so good and you were really hungry. You could say that this burger was your soulmate…  
“Okay, what’s up.” you asked, sitting next to Dean while Sam was next to Castiel.  
“We found a case.” Dean stared carefully, glancing at Cas and then at you.  
You felt yourself smiling at this.  
Soon after you… found your soulmate, you asked Sam and Dean if you could start hunting. They weren’t happy about it at first and mostly they were scared that their little innocent sister will get hurt on a hunt, but soon you had them on your side. You knew their weaknesses and it wasn’t hard to convince them.  
Now you were training for it, almost every day. And when you weren’t, you were reading books. Lots and lots of books, soaking in knowledge about monsters, about supernatural. And it made you happy. Knowing that you can protect yourself and help your brothers with fighting evil, made you so happy.  
“Demons are killing people a few hours south from here.” Sam continued.   
“And what does this have to do with Y/N?” Castiel asked as you weren’t here. You shot him an ugly stare, before turning back to Sam.  
“Okay, so on Sunday there is a ball. As far as we know demons will be there. They possessed some important family and we need you to spot them. They seem to love pretty ladies and you could play a bait, if you want?”  
You could see on the faces of your brothers that they weren’t okay with it and that they needed it. On the other side, you were so happy to finally have a chance to help. You spent so many years unable to help and now it was finally your time.  
“Sure.” you smiled widely. “I’ll do it, no problems.”  
Dean smiled thankfully at you.   
“Thanks, Y/N. Dean and I will be close all the time and we were hoping if Cas could take a day off in case if anything goes wrong?” Sam squeezed your hand lightly, before turning to Castiel.  
“Cas? What to you say?”  
Castiel’s jaw was locked tightly and you could see unexplained anger in his eyes. He looked at Dean and Sam, refusing to look at you.  
“Cas? Buddy, you okay?” Dean chuckled, unused to see his friend like that. And even though Dean would never admit this, he was kind of scared of the way Castiel looked at him. Usually Cas looked like that at monsters and demons, not at him and Sam.  
You bit your lip nervously, looking at Castiel. He looked hot. So hot. But you brushed that thought away quickly. He was an angel, for god’s sake. You shouldn’t think about an angel in that way.  
Finally after what seemed like hours, Castiel looked at you. His face softened, but just for a moment. In a few seconds it was replaced with a harsh look that looked so damn sexy….  
“Are you two crazy?!” he raised his voice upon your brothers.   
Sam and Dean remained quiet, looking at furious friend. They looked a bit freaked out, but Castiel continued.  
“She can see, for how long? Not even 3 weeks and you want to drag her in?” he yelled again, slamming his hand against the table.  
“Cas we…” Sam tried to explain, but Castiel didn’t give him a chance.  
“Y/N is the only Winchester, only one, that didn’t get dragged into this shit. ONLY ONE! And you two morons do this as soon as she can see?!”  
Another break followed and you looked at Castiel, now scared like your brothers.  
“Why do you want to do this to her?!” he broke the silence. “She’s innocent!”  
“Castiel would you listen to us?” Dean asked, but Castiel ignored him just like he ignored Sam.  
“And as this wasn’t enough you set her as bait for demons?! Why don’t we just throw her into a jungle of vampires, werewolfs and demons and let her fight? Why not? I mean it’s not like she’s not even a hunter. She’s never been to a hunt before and you want to use her as bait?!”  
You looked at him, your eyes wide and your mouth slightly open.  
“CAS! That’s enough!” you yelled at him which finally snapped him out of his trans. “Stop yelling at my brothers! They didn’t agree on me becoming a hunter, it was my idea. And I’m attending it, you like it or now. And it’s not like your opinion really matters!”  
That was a lie.   
“But Y/N, you don’t know how dangerous this is.” Castiel tried to explain. He was desperately trying to talk you out of this.  
“I know perfectly well how dangerous it is.” you explained. “And I’m doing it. The end of the story.”  
“Y/N…”  
“No, Cas. I told you everything I had to and if you don’t agree with anything. You can leave.”  
You didn’t mean it. You didn’t mean any of it. His opinion meant to him way more than it should. And you most certainly didn’t want him to leave.   
You wanted to be in his arms. You wanted him to kiss you and tell you that you’re his one and only.   
It scared you to feel like that. You knew that you shouldn’t but you did.  
Instead of trying to get what you wanted, you stormed out of the library, tears collecting in your eyes and Dean right behind you.  
“What was that, Cas?” Sam asked, lifting his eyebrows.   
Castiel looked at his lap, embarrassed of his actions. He should not yell at the Winchester brothers. He should not do that, but he couldn’t help himself.  
“I’m sorry Sam. I shouldn’t yell at you and I apologise.” the angel mumbled quietly.  
“I wasn’t talking about this Cas.” Sam pointed out and Castiel knew what he was talking about.   
“I don’t know, Sam.” he admitted. “Y/N…”  
“Y/N what, Cas?” Sam pushed him further. “Cas, are you developing feelings for my little sister?”


	5. Charlie The Magician

Castiel thought to himself. Did he develop feelings for you?   
Sure, he was nervous around you. He wasn’t sure if that was because you yelled at him for every stupid thing or because he felt something for you. He also thought that you’re beautiful, but that was a fact and it didn’t really show anything.   
But he did, in fact, care about you and your well being very much. He didn’t want you in a supernatural world on hunts. You deserved much more than that.   
“Cas?” Sam broke Castiel’s trail of thoughts.   
“I-I don’t know.” Castiel finally admitted. “I don’t know what I’m feeling, Sam. I shouldn’t feel at all. I’m an angel and feelings are a human thing.”  
Sam nodded, running a hand through his hair.   
“Okay.” he breathed out. “Okay… J-just don’t hurt her, Cas. You are my friend, but she’s my sister. Please.”   
Castiel nodded. He would never hurt you, not on purpose anyway. If anything, he’d do everything to protect you from bad things.  
“I won’t, Sam.” he promised.   
Sam nodded and left the room to go and check on you and Dean. He saw that you’re upset and he was pretty sure that a little fight wasn’t the reason for it.  
“She won’t let me in.” Dean said when Sam bumped into him in front of your room.  
Sam knocked on your door.   
“Y/N, sweetie, let me in, please?” he said gently. “C’mon, I’ll help you.”  
Sam got no answer from you, but he did hear quiet sobs coming out of your room. He sighed, shaking his head.  
“If those two don’t fall in love with each other, I’m not Lucefer’s vessel.” Sam mumbled, making Dean chuckle.  
“I’ll handle this, you go get us dinner, okay?” he said and Dean nodded.  
Once Sam was alone, he knocked again, but all he got in response was a silent sobbing. He slowly opened the door and entered, his eyes searching for you.  
You were curled up on bed, hugging your pillow, tightly. Your shoulders shook every time you sobbed and the worst thing was that you didn’t even know why you act like that. This fight shouldn’t affect you like that. In the end it was only another fight between you and Castiel.  
Maybe it was because of the way he reacted and what he said. Why did he want to protect you so badly? You didn’t mean anything to him, you were just rude sister of his best friends. He couldn’t care about you, not after the way you acted.  
“Y/N? What was that?” Sam asked gently as he sat down next to you on your bed.   
You shook your head, “I-I don’t know.”  
You almost jumped in Sam’s arms as he hugged you, holding to his shirt like your life depended on it. You needed your brother now that nothing seemed to be clear. You needed Sam to tell you what to do.  
He was your rock now when you needed him and even though he didn’t always know what to say, he was there for you. He had wise words when you needed them and a shoulder to cry on when you didn’t feel like talking.  
He never pushed you to talk about whatever was on your mind.  
“Why am I like that Sammy?” you sobbed into his shirt, “I don’t want to be rude to him, but I am. And what he says, shouldn’t affect me like this. W-what’s happening?”  
Sam rubbed circles on your back, hoping that you’ll calm down soon. He hated seeing you broken and the fact that it was because of a man made him furious. He knew that it wasn’t Castiel’s fault at all, but he was angry anyways.  
“Only you know that, Y/N.” Sam replied calmly. “Maybe you’re sad because of whole ‘soulmate’ thing. And you’re showing it as anger. Is it possible that you, I don’t know, like Cas and you’re covering it with anger?”  
You shook your head no. Sam was wrong, he was usually right, but right now he could not be more wrong. You didn’t like Cas. He was clumsy and you hated that. You hated every time he passed you your coffee mug and you hated when he tried to make a conversation with you. It made you so angry every time he laughed at something Dean said and you were furious when he was nice with you. But most of all you hated the weak knees and mess in your head when he was around you.  
“I don’t like him, Sam. He’s a dick.”  
Sam chuckled quietly, knowing that this isn’t true.  
“What happened yesterday anyways? Dean and I found you and Cas snuggled up together in your bed.”  
You felt yourself blushing, so you hid head in your hands. You shouldn’t be blushing at a thought of Castiel hugging you. And more than anything, you shouldn’t wish that he was next to you instead of Sam.   
Because you hated him. Remember?  
“I had cramps. Gabe had some work to do. Cas helped a bit.” you grumbled, looking away from Sam.  
“Yeah.” Sam laughed, “Because you snuggle to Gabriel every month. And you fall asleep in his arms, right?” he couldn’t help but mock you. “And you definitely blush when I mention it.”  
You punched his arm playfully and let out a small laugh.   
“You’re an idiot.”  
_________________  
Days passed by quickly and you knew that you needed a dress. Sam and Dean reassured you a billion times that they have a dress, but that you’ll get it on the day of the ball, but that made you only more nervous.  
This was supposed to be your entrance into a hunting world. You won’t hunt, not yet, but you will help your brothers and that made you insanely happy.  
You tried to keep yourself busy, not thinking about what’s going to happen on Sunday. You’d read books, watch TV and tried cooking. But no matter what, your mind always came back to the same topic. No matter how much you hated it. Always the same damn topic.  
You felt Castiel’s eyes on you every time he was in the same room as you. After that fight, he tried to make things between you two better. Every morning you’d find him in a kitchen, your favourite coffee ready for you.   
He replaced Dean and watched Game of Thrones with you, always asking you weird, funny questions. He replaced Gabriel and brought you your favourite candy.   
And as much as you wanted to go back, to not know him at all, you slowly realized that you couldn’t live without him anymore.   
“Y/N, Charlie is here! You two should get ready!” Dean called loudly, making you jump a bit as he broke your trail of thoughts. And once again, you found yourself thinking about the magic those blue eyes provided.  
“I’ll be right there!”  
Quickly you jumped, running to the hallway where Charlie was. You practically jumped on her, pulling her in a tight hug. She was your best friend for years now.   
“You don’t have to kill me.” she laughed, squeezing you tightly. “C’mon, let’s get you all dressed up and pretty now.”  
“She’s already pretty now.” Castiel mumbled in the corner, but none of you heard him.  
Charlie pulled you to her room, opening a bag she brought with her.   
“Soo…” she started while waiting for hair straightener to heat up. “What’s been up with you? Sam said that you’re a bit absent lately.”  
You bit your lip, shaking your head as smile sneaked up on your face. “That boy should keep his mouth closed.”  
“Okay… Did your mind ever stop on one thing? O-or person?” you asked and Charlie smiled, knowing where this is going.   
“I have, sure.”  
“No matter what I do, my mind always stops on that one thing.”  
“Do I know that one thing?” she asked with a big grin.  
You felt yourself blushing and smiling like an idiot. And that’s what you were. A huge idiot who can’t stop thinking about something… or someone.  
“Mhm…” you admitted.  
“I knew it! It’s Cas, isn’t it?” she asked, clapping her hands together in excitement. “Too bad that he’s not going on that ball. After I’m finished with you, he’ll want to push you in his bedroom and destroy…”  
“Charlie!” you exclaimed, your cheeks turning in cherry red. “He’s an angel!”  
All you wanted to do now is hide and giggle at what Charlie had in her mind. It’s not like you haven’t thought about it. But he was an angel for god’s sake!  
“That doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want to do stuff… with you…” She wiggled her eyebrows and giggled at her thought. “And I can clearly see that you want to do stuff… to him.”   
You slapped her hand, but that only made her laugh more.   
“C’mon, you know that you can be honest with me.” she teased again. “I have a surprise for you in the end.”  
“Really?” you smiled widely. “What?”  
Again she wiggled her eyebrows, but remained quiet.   
Charlie’s gonna help you on this case. She’s going as Dean’s date and you’re going as Sam’s. Sure it will feel weird to act like your brother’s date, but there was no way you’re going alone. Neither Sam nor Dean would allow you this, so you just had to accept it.  
It didn’t take long for Charlie to get you ready with night makeup. Your hair was straight, but you liked it. She definitely knew what she was doing and you couldn’t be more thankful for this.   
“Okay and now the dress.” she announced, excited to finally show you this.   
Anxiety washed over you right before you saw a dress. Charlie brought it, happy with the choice she made buying it.   
“I’m pretty sure you’re going to look hot as hell in it.”  
She helped you put on a long, blue gown. You were sure that she was right. The dress itself looked gorgeous and it would probably make a trash can look hot as hell.   
The dress reached to the floor, even with your high heels on. You weren’t sure though, if you’ll be able to walk in those sky-high, killing heels. Sure, they made your legs long and much sexier than you’d like to admit, but clumsy as you could be this meant nothing good.  
Finally, after finishing the last few details on you and after she dressed in her dress, you could finally see yourself.   
The girl in the mirror looked a lot like you, but even though you couldn’t believe that this is you. You were used of yourself in hoodies, hair up in a bun. You’ve never seen yourself in a dress, especially with makeup on your face.   
“That…” you started, but couldn’t find words to finish it.  
“Gorgeous and hot as hell?” Charlie helped you, smiling at you expression. “I did an awesome job.”  
Nodding, you turned to her to hug her, but she pushed you away, winking.  
“You’ll thank me after this night is over. Now let’s go see your date. He’s waiting in the library.”  
You raised your eyebrows, furrowing them in confusion. Why would you need to see Sam? You saw him in a suit already and there was no need in seeing him now, since you had some time left.  
But Charlie overlooked your confused face and pulled you behind her into the library. It was an honest surprise that you didn’t fall while she was walking really fast.  
The library was empty, or so it seemed until you spotted a man in a suit, turned away from you. And this definitely wasn’t Sam.  
“Have fun tonight.” Charlie winked at you, before turning to the man. “Hey!” she called, huge smirk on her face.   
A man turned and your eyes widened when you saw who it was.  
His eyes widened as well as they travelled up and down your body until his blue eyes met yours.  
“Y/N?” he asked in disbelief.   
“He’s my date?” you whispered to Charlie, who nodded.   
“Have fun tonight!”


	6. Let's dance

“H-hi, Cas.” you smiled nervously while Angel’s eyes travelled up and down your body.

He looked very handsome in his suit, his blue tie matched your dress and really brought his eyes out. You felt yourself blushing as his eyes found yours and he smiled kindly.

“You look really beautiful. Gorgeous even.” he told you, but then a moment later his eyes widened, you knew that he didn’t mean to say it.

“Thanks…” you smiled at him, before plastering your eyes on the floor. “You don’t look bad yourself either.”

Castiel nodded, trying to look everywhere but at you. Awkward silence filled the room and neither of you knew how to break it. Just when you were about to leave the room, Dean entered, also in a suit.

“Hey Cas have you seen…” He lost the ability to talk when he looked at you.

“Is it that bad?” you joked. 

“N-no it’s…. You look really beautiful.”

Dean walked to you, pulling you into a hug.

“Cas looks mesmerised by you.” he whispered in your ear and you felt yourself blushing even more.

But you shouldn’t be blushing. Castiel was just Sam and Dean’s friend who happened to be your soulmate. But you weren’t his so you should just forget about it. It’s not like Cas liked you and you should be the smart one, girl who listens to her brain and not her heart.

“He’s not.” you tried to sound casual. “Cas is just being… Cas.”

“Keep telling yourself that, sis.” Dean laughed, before turning to Cas.

“Ready for tonight, Cas?” he asked, smirking when he saw his best friend’s eyes glued on you. “Cas?”

Castiel jumped a bit, looking at the man who just called him with wide eyes. It was almost painful to him to tear his eyes off you. A new feeling scared Castiel, especially as strong as this one. But it felt good and he had a feeling that nothing but good can develop from this.

“Y-yes? When are we leaving, Dean?” Castiel tried to focus on his best friend, but his eyes and mind kept wondering to you.

“We can leave now, I guess.” Dean shrugged, smirking as Castiel’s eyes landed on you once again. “And just so you know. Charlie’s riding a shotgun.”

You felt yourself nod and mumble something about Charlie, before you left the room.

It’d be mild if you’d say that the ride to the ball was awkward. Dean and Charlie kept glancing back at you and Castiel, grins plastered on their faces. Radio was broken and nobody dared to break the silence, so the only thing you could hear was the Impala’s engine.

Castiel and you kept glancing at one another through the whole way there. You caught him staring at you numerous times and he caught you. You couldn’t keep a smile off your face when his blue eyes wandered on your face.

“Okay, we’re here!” Dean broke your trail of thoughts when he parked the Impala in front of a huge house.

“Hmm? Oh, okay.” you nodded and just when you were about to open the door, Castiel stopped you.

“Let me.” he murmured, before getting out of the car and hurrying to your side to open a door for you.

You accepted his hand and he gently pulled you out of the car. His hand was warm and tingly sensation ran down your arm as your hand rested in his. You hooked your hand with his offered one and let him take you away, leaving Dean and Charlie long forgotten behind you.

“Are you nervous?” Castiel asked as you walked to the entrance.

You looked up at him, mesmerised by his eyes. “A bit.” you admitted, offering him a small smile.

“Hey, it’ll be okay.” he promised, gently taking your hand in his. “I won’t let anything happen to you.” Castiel murmured, stopping in the middle of the crowded room.

You looked up at him, even with your heels on, he was a bit taller than you. “What if I screw up? Or what if they notice you, Cas? I mean they can see angels, right?”

Castiel’s face softened as he gently rubbed your knuckles with his thumb.

“You won’t screw up, Y/N. And if they notice me… I’ll just transport us to the bunker. Hey, do you trust me?” he asked with a gentle voice, his blue eyes never leaving yours.

Hesitantly, you nodded.

“Okay, good.” he murmured. “Now let’s enjoy this party.”

Again, you nodded, feeling a bit better now. He led you through the room, scanning around to find the demons.

“I thought I’m the bait? Shouldn’t I be standing somewhere by myself and like, act like a bait for demons?” You asked, confused when Castiel’s hand didn’t leave yours.

“No.” he replied angrily. “I mean, no… Sam and Dean chanced the plan.” he explained himself.

The truth was that they didn’t exactly changed the plan. It was Cas that bugged them all the time, until they promised that you won’t play a bait and that he’ll get to be there in case something goes wrong. He wasn’t sure why, but he had to keep you safe.

“Is that so? Then let’s enjoy tonight.”

This time it was you that led you two around. Soon you found a bar and ordered a drink for you and him, while he was talking with Dean and Charlie a few meters away.

“What is a lady like you doing here alone?” a harsh voice asked on your left.

You turned around and found a man in early 30’s, smiling at you. He offered you a hand before you could answer.

“Tom.” he flashed you a smile “Tom Hiddleston.”

“Hi. I’m Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N. And I’m waiting for a drink.” you smiled back, accepting his offered hand.

“Well, it’s an honour to meet you, Y/N. So do you like the party? And have you tried shrimps? I heard they are marvellous.”

“Party’s great.” you offered him a smile. “And I haven’t yet, but now I’ll have to. Don’t you have a girl to keep entertained?”

Tom shrugged, taking a sip of whiskey he was holding.

“I think that my sister can keep herself entertained.” he chuckled. “And what happened with your companion?”

Out of the sudden you felt arms sneak around your waist.

“I’m right here, you don’t have to worry.” Castiel spoke behind you with a cold voice. “Now if you don’t mind, we’re leaving.”

With that, Castiel grabbed your hand and pulled you away from Tom, so you barely had time to wave him goodbye.

“What the hell?” you asked once you were on a dance floor, with a glass of champagne in your hand.

“I could ask you the same.” he mumbled. “What were you thinking, Y/N? He could be a demon!”

“He wasn’t.” you argued, finishing your glass and leaving it on a table near you. “He was nice and now what? I can’t even talk to guys?”

“No. No you can’t. Can we please stop arguing now, Y/N? Just for one night?”

You looked up at him, only to meet his eyes sadly staring down at you.

“Yeah…” you cleared your throat. “Yes, okay.”

Castiel smiled again “Would you like to dance?”

You nodded at his questions and wrapped hands around his neck. His hands landed on your hips, always making sure that you feel comfortable. He gently rocked you in a slow dance and slowly you both forgot about the world around you.

You rested your head on his chest and he dared to pull you a little closer, placing chin on the top of your head. Band was just playing an old song from 40’s and soon the dance floor was filled with old and young couples.

“I’m hungry.” you whined which made Castiel chuckle.

“Then let’s go eat. Before Charlie and Dean eat everything.”

You laughed and hooked your hand with his so you won’t lose him in the crowd. He led you to the table with all different sorts of food. Your eyes lit up when you saw all the food you could eat and Castiel couldn’t keep a smile off his face when he saw you like that.

“So what should I try first?” you mumbled, more to yourself than to him. Your eyes scanned the table, before they landed on a pie.

“Mmm… Pie…” you smiled to yourself and put a huge piece on your plate.

“What is it with you Winchesters and pie?” Castiel laughed behind you.

“Shut up, you know it’s delicious .” you mumbled, taking a big bite. You couldn’t hold back a moan when pie practically melted in your mouth. “So. Good.”

Castiel chuckled and shook his head. “Are you sure pie isn’t your soulmate?” he teased.

“No.” you heard Dean from behind. “Cause it’s mine. Having fun, kiddo?” he asked you, suggestive tone in his voice.

You shot him a bitch face, hoping that Castiel didn’t get what Dean meant.

“I actually am.” you threw him a sarcastic smile, taking another bite.

“I can see. Is Cas a good dancer?” your brother wiggled eyebrows at you, sending you a wink.

You felt a blush creeping up your cheeks and if you’d have a chance, Dean would get a strong slap. But with Charlie and Castiel around you, you couldn’t do it, of course.

“I don’t understand why this is important…” Castiel furrowed his eyebrows, but smirk never left Dean’s lips and his eyes stayed on you.

“It’s not, Cas. I just want to know if my sister enjoyed dancing with you.”

“I did, in fact.” you smirked back. “And Cas is a really good dancer.”

Dean and Charlie looked at each other and you could see how they slowly nodded to each other.

“I’m not feeling well.” expression on Charlie’s face suddenly changed.

“Yeah, she almost passed out a few minutes ago… So I’m taking her back to the bunker. Can you two come later? We still need someone here?”

You shot an angry look to Charlie, who was definitely hiding a smile. Castiel on the other side looked worried.

“Yes, of course.” he nodded. “I’ll get Y/N home, you take care for Charlie.”

Soon Charlie and Dean left, both throwing you a wink. And so you were, alone with Castiel once again.

“Do you really think I’m a good dancer?” Castiel asked once they were gone, looking down at you.

You felt blush forming on your cheeks once again “You aren’t bad.”

Castiel seemed to be happy with the answer. He bowed in front of you, asking if he could have this dance. Like he saw people do it in the movies.

You couldn’t hold back a laugh, not believing that he can be so… adorable.

“Yes, you may have this dance, Cassie.”

He lifted his eyebrows when you called him by the nickname and your eyes widened as you realized what you did. You never called him ‘Cassie’ before. Not in front of him, that’s for sure. Quickly you cleared your throat and headed to the dance floor.

This time your dance was a bit more elegant. One of your hands was resting in his while other was around his neck. His other hands rested on your waist, pulling you just a bit closer to consider this as a normal dance.

There was tension between you two. Something that was never there, but it didn’t feel bad. Not at all. He was softly gazing at you, his blue eyes locked with yours. You two were slowly rocking side by side, dancing English waltz.

You had no idea for how long you’ve been dancing like this, shyly smiling at each other. Everything was fine until you heard a familiar song. And as if Cas knew what this song actually meant, he pulled you a bit closer, so now there was almost no space between you two.

Band played Always On My Mind by Elvis Presley. A song that was playing when your mom and dad danced for the first time. It was their song.

“Fuck.” you cursed under your breath, feeling yourself tear up.

Castiel immediately stepped back and worry filled his eyes.

“What is it, Y/N? Are you okay?” he asked in panic.

You shook your head no, surprising him and mostly yourself when you pulled him close to bury your head in his chest. Maybe it was alcohol in your veins or emotions flowing through you, but you needed Cas more than anyone right now.

“This was my parent’s song. It played the first time they danced and on their wedding.” you practically sobbed.

Without a second thought, he wrapped his arms around you.

“Do you wanna go back to bunker?” he asked gently and you nodded.

“Okay. C’mon, let’s go somewhere else, so I can transport us back.”

He took your hand in his, slowly guiding you away from the crowded room. Once you were alone, he pressed two fingers to your forehead, transporting you both back to the bunker.

Once you were there, you broke down. Tears streamed down your face, creating wet stains on his shirt.

“I just miss them so much sometimes.” you whispered.

Castiel pulled you closer, gently rocking you, so you’d calm down. “I know. I know you do. If it makes you feel any better. They’re happy up there, they are together.”

You smiled for a second, imagining them in your head. They loved to dance, that’s what you knew. And as you were told, your mom loved to brush her hair. She had beautiful, long blond hair. And your dad… he enjoyed reading so much. He read you a lot when he was still alive.

You looked up at Castiel, almost bumping your nose against him. His face was so close and you couldn’t help but glance at his lips. They were baby pink and looked like the softest thing in the world.

“Y/N…” Castiel whispered, but you cut him off, pressing your lips against his.

He froze for a brief a second, but soon his lips were moving against yours. His lips tasted like champagne he drank at the party. His lips were just as soft as you imagined just a moment ago.

He gently cupped your cheek, before pulling away.

“You’re drunk. We shouldn’t do that now.” he told you. “Go to sleep.”

Your knees were still weak from the kiss and your lips were a bit swollen and tingly.

“Stay with me. Please.” You looked up at him, trying your best to give him puppy eyes. “Just… please Cas?”

“Okay.” Castiel couldn’t deny you anything.

He walked into your room and soon you were passed out on the bed, safe in his arms.


	7. Saviour

“Cas…” you mumbled, still half-asleep. “Cas my head hurts.”

You turned to the other side, expecting to find an angel by your side. You had a terrible hangover and there was nothing you’d love more, but him healing you.

To your surprise, you found the other side of your bed cold and empty and Castiel was nowhere to be seen. You groaned, covering your eyes with your hand. You shouldn’t drink so much alcohol last night and even though the night ended in a best possible way, you regretted every glass of champagne you had.

You forced yourself to get out of the bed, hoping that some painkillers and a big glass of water can make everything better. You even dared to hope that Castiel is still in the bunker and that he’ll be willing to help you.

As usual, luck wasn’t on your side and all you found in the kitchen were your brothers. Dean was calmly eating his breakfast, mumbling ‘good morning’ when you entered. Sam was a totally different story.

“Tough night?” he asked loudly with a big smile plastered on his face.

“Could you be a little quieter?” you whined, running a hand down your face. “Where do we keep painkillers? Or Cas?”

“Painkillers are right in front of you. And I think that we’ll keep Cas in your room from now on, won’t we?” Sam teased.

You rolled your eyes in response, feeling a blush creep up your cheeks. You bit your lower lip, unsuccessfully trying to hold back a smile that formed on your lips every time you thought of Castiel.

“Shut up.” you grumbled, sounding like a teenage girl who just got her first kiss.

After taking a few magical painkillers and swallowed huge amount of water, it was time for a coffee and breakfast. Sam and Dean left you alone. Usually you liked greasy food Dean ate more than healthy things Sam did. But with a headache and feeling like you’ll puke if you see anything greasy, a plate of fruit covered in Greek yogurt and honey felt like heaven.

“Where is Cas anyways?” you asked, trying to sound casual.

This time Dean was the one rolling his eyes “He had to check something for a case.” he barked at you.

“What’s your problem, Dean?” you asked, confused by his tone.

“I don’t know… Maybe I didn’t expect my little sister to bang my best friend first chance she gets?”

Your eyes widened and once again you felt yourself blushing. “We didn’t… Dean we didn’t bang. Nothing happened. We… we only kissed.” you admitted, looking down at your hands.

Dean smirked at you, shaking his head “Well, if there was someone else instead of Cas, you would. You can’t just get drunk and jump on the first guy you see.”

“Are you trying to act like my dad?” you asked, raising your voice. “Because if you are, I’m sorry, but you’re not dad. He died to save you, remember?”

Without saying another word you storm out. Quickly you changed out of your pyjamas and left the bunker.

Autumn mornings in Kansas were cold, but this morning seemed colder than others. You wrapped yourself in cardigan, mentally cursing yourself for not bringing your jacket and slowed down. You liked walking alone losing in your mind. It gave you time to think things through.

It’s not a secret that only thing on your mind this morning was Castiel. You played last night in your head over and over again, probably a million times. Even with horrible hangover you still felt his lips on yours and, oh god, you wished this wasn’t your last kiss.

It all happened so quickly. When you first find out about Castiel being your soulmate, you hated him. You were sad, really sad and devastated. But most of all, you were angry. Angry at him because you weren’t his soulmate and angry at yourself for letting it destroy you.

But even with those negative feelings, bottled up inside you, you fell for Cas. It was slow and you didn’t think that loving him is possible until he was the reason you wanted to get up and keep going after a bad day. His kindness towards you melted your heart. His voice used to be annoying, but quickly you learnt to love it.

There were many things that you liked about him without even realizing. Mornings seemed dull and weird without the morning routine you two crated. Time passed by slower when he wasn’t around.

You kept convincing yourself that this isn’t true, that you’re imagining it. Slowly, but surely, Castiel burnt down the walls you built around yourself after losing your father. For the first time in forever you let a stranger come close, closer than you’d like.

“Look, look. I never expected to see little Winchester walk around without protection,” a cold, sleazy male voice broke your thoughts. “I guess I won jackpot today.”

You turned around, chills creeping up your spine. Your instinct didn’t let you down and when you turned to face the male, black eyes met yours.

“W-what do you want?” you asked, trying to sound brave, but failing miserably.

“What do I want?” the demon questioned, grin plastered on his face. “Right now, that’d be you missy. Actually I want your brothers and what’s the better way to bring them to me, than you?”

Castiel walked into the bunker, smile resting on his face. Ever since he left you sleep in, he couldn’t wait to come back to you.

If it wasn’t for the night he spent with you in his arms, he’d surely think that he imagined the kiss.

“Hey!” Castiel greeted Sam and Dean. He searched for you in the room, his smile falling slightly when he couldn’t find you.

“Hi!” Sam replied, but Dean ignored him.

Castiel cleared his throat. “Where is Y/N?” he asked, hoping not to sound desperate.

Sam smiled and he could swear that Dean did too. Both brothers had told him that they’d have nothing against him being with you, but Dean warned him not to hurt you. Not that Cas wanted that anyways.

Castiel liked you from the very start and the way you acted towards him at first, hurt him. But even then he couldn’t help but think how beautiful and pure you were.

“She, ugh…” Sam cleared his throat, shifting uncomfortably.

“She what?” Castiel questioned, furrowing his eyebrows.

Both brothers avoided looking at him and Castiel sensed tension in the room.

“What have you done?” he asked, getting angrier when he met Dean’s gaze.

“We had a small fight and she stormed off. Don’t worry though, it’s probably just PMS.”

Sam chuckled at Dean’s answer, but it wasn’t funny to Castiel. He felt his rage rise and it took all his power not to snap back at Dean.

“You’re lucky I wasn’t here, Dean.” Castiel threatened. “Where did she go?”

“I don’t know, Cas. She went on a walk, but I don’t know where she is.” Sam replied, scared for his brother’s safety.

It was crazy how overprotective Cas became when it came to you. Sam wasn’t used to it, but he could understand Castiel. He was just overprotective over Jess, if not more. But sadly it didn’t quite help him when demon decided to get rid of her.

“I’ll go look for her,” Castiel announced, turning just as he heard your prayers.

It was a whisper, barely heard, but he knew it was you and that you need help.

“Y/N…” he whispered. “She’s in trouble.”

“Hello fellas!” Gabriel’s voice interrupted his thoughts and shut down your prayers. “Did somebody die or what?” Gabriel chuckled, holding Tublerone in his hand.

“Y/N’s in trouble.” Castiel said seriously. “She needs our help.”

You woke up in a bright room, headache killing you even more than before.

You blinked quickly a few times, trying to adjust to the light, only to be interrupted by creepy voice.

“Look, look who woke up.” male voice said, laughing like he said something funny. “I thought that all Winchesters are tough, but it looks like you’re a black sheep of family.”

A man walked from behind, blade in his hands. “Are you going to say anything or are you going to keep quiet all the time.”

“I ain’t gonna tell you anything, you prick.” you stuttered, looking straight into his eyes.

“Really? I’m sure I’ll be able to talk you out of your decision.”

He walked to you, leaning blade on your cheek. “It’d be a shame to ruin that pretty face of yours, right?” he questioned with a wicked smile on his face. “No, actually it wouldn’t be. I don’t think I could ruin much.”

He walked away from you, playing with a knife. “I saw you and that angel yesterday…”

You felt your muscles tense when he mentioned Cas. Quickly you sent a prayer, hoping he’d hear you and come to save you.

“I’m not sure what he sees about you. He’s an angel and you are… some pointless human. You don’t have anything special, anything worth the effort.” Demon continued, and you felt your confidence fall.

“But you do know some interesting things. So what do you say we start with questions?”

“You’re not getting anything from me.” you all-but-yelled.

“Is that so?” Demon walked to you, leaning knife on your chest. He ripped your shirt with one movement, cutting your skin with it as well.

You screamed in pain, biting your lip when tears blurred your vision. It hurt, it hurt you so much, but demon only laughed, not caring about your pain.

His soul was dark and there was nothing good left in it.

“Are you sure?” he laughed, wiping his blade on your, now torn shirt.

Stubbornly, you nodded, sending another prayer to Castiel. He couldn’t let you down, not now.

Once again, demon ran a blade down your skin, creating a deep scar on your tights. You screamed once again, sobbing at the pain you felt. Tears streamed down your face, creating wet stain on the collar of your shirt.

“Cas, please.” you cried, now praying out loud.

“He’s not coming sweetheart. You better give up and tell me now, I’ll kill you quickly and painlessly. It’s not like anyone would miss you. They don’t love you, you know. For years you were just someone who made your brothers lives harder. And the angel… you’re just a fun for him. Nothing more”

You sobbed harder, when suddenly door burst open. Your head snapped up and you were sure that you’re dreaming.

“What have you gotten yourself into, Y/N?” Castiel mumbled. In a second he was next to demon, his hand on a demon.

“You better close your eyes, sweetheart!” you heard Gabriel yell.

That was the last thing you heard before you passed out from pain.

Maybe all of this has been just a hallucination. Maybe now you’re saved.


End file.
